While browsing the web, I came upon an entry called “Top 10 Signs Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend might be into Animal Love”. Needless to say, that little article had me laughing and rolling over in a matter of seconds and it had inspired me to write my version of it, the guy’s point of view anyway. I may post the girl’s point of view version of it soon. And if enough replies are posted, I might even add more. Anyway, enjoy them! I know, I did while doing it.
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Signs Your Girlfriend is a Secret Animal Lover

10. When she comes over to your house she ignores you and snuggles up to your pet Schnauzer(the DOG, you pervert!!!!) and says “Hello, handsome, wanna play?”

9. You take a take at her diary by stealth and learn that the handsome 14-inch cock stallion she was fucking out with in the race derbies while you were away, was actually a REAL horse.

8. You were browsing this website for a “quickie” and you see her picture being fucked by that dog you gave her last Christmas ago.

7. Having sex with her in “doggy-style” actually involves a REAL dog.

6. She is happy when you tell her about you have to go away for the weekend and you need her to look after your dog. The dog also seems to be awfully “excited and happy” for some reason.

5. When she says she sleeps with her dog, you hope that’s all she does.

4: She actually has orgasms while watching the Animal Planet Special Big Cats”.

3. You discover that is actually a VERY active member of this website. And she’s been sending pictures and stories about bestiality for quite sometime now. (Hmmm, now WHO could that be…? *hint* *hint*).

2. When she tells you to fuck her pussy, she means that huge white Siberian Tiger she had chained up by the bed and not her.

And the number one sign that Your Girlfriend is a Secret Animal Lover…..

1. She screams out her dog’s name while having sex with you.

Okay, I know there are some rumors in the comic continuity about the Man of Steel and the Bat. Frankly speaking, I’m not sure if I ought to post it here. But hell, I love the Bat. I mean who wouldn’t?

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HEADLINE NEWS: Superman and Batman ‘More than Just Friends?’ Their Intimate Relationship Revealed! — A story by Lois Lane, your intrepid reporter for the Daily Planet

Citizens of the superhero and crimefighter universe were thrown into chaos when security surveillance cameras at the Justice League Watchtower caught a very intimate moment between two of the World’s Finest, Batman and Superman, just after the Justice League came home from Apokalipse battling the forces of Darksied.

“We always knew Superman and Batman held private conferences post missions but we never thought… Oh man, I think I need a few drinks…” John Stewart, member of the Green Lantern Corps and one of the founding members of the Justice League said during an interview.

Jonn Jonz aka Martian Manhunter told us. “I always knew that Batman had this strange…magnetic personality. Those two always had a bond between them. It was inevitable that those two uhm… mate.”

Nightwing, formerly Robin and leader of the Titans was not happy with the current situation and had this to say, “Bruce, HOW COULD YOU???!!!! First it was the Joker, then the Catwoman, Poisonivy, the Penguin, then that bitch that Ra’s Al Guhl had for a daughter, Barbara…uh, Oracle, Black Canary, Huntress, Cass…uh Batgirl, Harlequin, Zatanna, Wonderwoman, Circe and now THIS!!!! ARGHH!!!! We are SOOOOO over!!!” (Nightwing runs crying to Starfire)

Shayera Hol aka Hawkgirl said: “I’m so happy for Superman. You see, Bruce… I mean, Batman was the best I ever had, and I thank Diana for telling me all about his other talents. I mean, John doesn’t have it… uhm, you’re not gonna record this, are you?”

Flash meanwhile had this had to say. “Well, Batman didn’t exactly have a sane head, you what I mean. Being broody all the time, going against all those psychos in Gotham, doing nightly patrols with the rest of the Batclan. Can you imagine what goes on with the Bat, Robin, Batgirl and Catwoman on at night? Man, that’s a scary thought. What? It’s not like Supes and Bats are gonna come out of the Fortress of Solitude and the Batcave soon and kill me. I mean, they’d never do anything to kill sweet lil Flash. Will they?”

We hope so, Flash. For your sake.
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DC Comics owns/has appropriate licenses and/or copyright © for these characters. I’m just simply borrowing them.

No profit is made from this news fiction, so please don’t sue me! My lawyers are all too busy making money from their other clients.

They’re happy that way and I’m happy that way, too!

Signs That Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Understand You’re into Animal Sex

10: He wonders why your other friends giggle to themselves when you tell him you were just giving the dog a bath in your bathroom.

9: He wonders why that eel on his aquarium keeps on dying every time he comes home from a business trip. Note: You were looking after his apartment.

8: He then wonders later why your pussy smell kinda fishy during sex.

7: You find yourself saying, “Come on over, Doggy and I just finished.”

6: He wonders why the dog he gave you last Christmas suddenly seems to hate him now.

5: You tell him you that your dog sleeps with you in your room without mentioning that the two of you do more than just sleep.

4: After having a fight, you get drunk and wake up in a stable. You call your boyfriend to pick you up. He asks, “What the hell happened to you?” You answer, “Riding?”

3: He accepts the fact that when he caught you in the cow pen with white milky fluid on your face you were just milking the cows but got so thirsty and drank the milk afterwards..

2: He doesn’t like going to your place anymore because he feels that all your pets are giving him evil looks.

And the number one sign that your Boyfriend doesn’t understand you’re into Animal Sex……

1. You tell him that you want him to fuck her pussy and he says, “Well, okay honey. But could we please get rid of that large tiger first?”

Oh lookie!!! I got another one!!!

There was a barren whore
who fucked a bear, also a boar.
The bear could not fuck the boar.
The boar fucked the bear a bore.
At last the bear could fuck no more
Of that boar that bored him to the whore,
And so the whore fucked off the boar–
That boar will bore the bear no more.

Signs That Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Understand You’re into Animal Sex

10: She wonders why you keep on taking her to petting zoo during dates.

9: She wonders why you spend more time with Lassie, your dog, you do on her.

8: You spend countless hours trying to convince her that being a bitch is not necessarily a bad thing.

7: You find yourself saying, “Come on over, Beast Wars just finished.”

6: “No, No honey, I wasn’t being unfaithful. When I said I had pussies for company, I meant REAL pussies. No! I MEAN CATS! No Honey! I am NOT gay! I meant REAL cats! Animals! Honey? Come back…please?”

5: You tell her you that your dog sleeps with you in your room without mentioning that the two of you do more than just sleep.

4: After having a fight, your sent her a poem. Unfortunately, you copied it from this site.

3: She doesn’t like going into your room because she feels that all of your pets are staring at her.

2: You find yourself forever explaining to her that , ME: Animals You: Shoes

And the number one sign that your Girlfriend doesn’t understand you’re into Animal Sex……

1. You tell her that you want to do it doggy style and she says, “Why did you bring that damn dog with you?”

And here’s another one!!! Have fun!!!

I fucked a dog sucking Kate. I fucked a dog,
he fucked me, and she sucked a dog.

And here’s another one for you!!! Enjoy!!!

Sarah suck a sucked-hot sash sheep
that sucked of hot-sucked sheep
as the sunshine shone
on the side of the sucked-hot sheep shed.